Today I didn't necessarily connect with my yoga class...I was on the periphery, distracted, unplugged....I was looking just left of center the entire time. My adjustments were shallow, barely grazing an arm or tweaking a foot placement. Smiles were forced and generic.
Why? What makes us shy away from connection? Fear. Fear of knowing too much or looking too deeply. Sometimes I think it is actually fear of being loved, of being accepted, of revealing our true self to another. Fear of not living up to others expectations of us.
Why do I often feel more connected to a stranger on the subway than I do to the people I work with day to day, or the students that come to yoga class week after week? The truth is that it's often my ego. I am less likely to be the true me around people I'm trying to impress. I tend to "be" who I think they would want me to be rather than act and speak and project from the me I really am. My ego needs to be accepted and liked by all the people in my office and all the guys I meet in bars. My mind makes me believe I need to give all the right answers, wear the right shirt, like the right music and order the entree that is fitting for a business lunch.
When it comes down to it, it's all about connection--connection to truth, connection to the inner self (not the surface image), connection to every other human on the planet. Namaste, the closing of every yoga class I've ever been to, translates to: "The light in me, salutes the light in you." In each of us is the light of consciousness; to connect with one is to connect with the collective consciousness that creates and sustains life. Breaking free of the ego (and subsequently, the need to please others) is my on-going personal growth project...
